It has been more than two years since I last posted. We’ve come through the white water of my son’s medical evacuation from Afghanistan, his resultant surgery, and a long recuperation. Two intercontinental moves, transition out of the Service, a painfully slow connection with the VA, and a final step into civilian life has brought us to this place. There has been a lot of waiting and wrestling in between, but God’s grace and faithfulness has been evident through it all.
When I use words like God’s faithfulness and grace I don’t mean it as a trite phrase that masks denial or as empty religious clap-trap. I mean it as evidence of the relationship we can have with a God who is as close as our breath, who answers when we call, who walks with us every step of the way.
It never means that bad things won’t happen, or if they do it is because we are unloved or unworthy. The harshness of a fallen world impacts us all.
It does mean God is with us through everything, that He is trustworthy, and that He will give us the strength, direction, grace, and peace we need when we need it.
All we have to do is ask.
And keep on asking, keep on choosing to trust, keep on reminding ourselves of the promises available in the Word of God. He will never leave us nor forsake us.
But remaining in this place of emotional provision doesn’t just happen. It requires an intentional, daily focus.
It also requires a determination to KEEP MOVING FORWARD, and that comes with its own challenges. It means letting go of what hinders us from forward motion. All the wind in the world won’t move our sailing ship forward if the anchor is still out.
Our anchors might be the ‘what ifs,’ the blaming, the anger, the death of dreams, or (fill in the blank). When we recognize things that keep our emotional and spiritual lives hindered, it might be time to pull up those anchors so we can move ahead again.
That choice can allow the forgiveness, or at least the decision to be willing to forgive, that allows God to begin working the reality in our hearts. That can be a battle all its own.
Who was responsible for my son’s injury? The Afghan people? The poor command decision? That list could become endless, and the bitterness that trails behind that kind of thinking brings death to our souls.
But this battle for our very hearts is worth the fight to win, this battle in our inner self. It creates a forward motion all its own and it carries eternal consequences. The prize that makes it all worth it? The peace that passes all understanding.
My son has returned to the same dangerous place but in a different capacity, having shed the responsibilities an EOD team leader carries. This deployment is more bearable for us all because of that, and we are thankful. We, as a family, have made the decision to keep moving forward and we are better because of it. We will all live to fight another day, in the way each of us is called to. For me it is on my knees.
Is there something you face that keeps you from moving forward? If you need a sounding board, we at Hearts Deployed are here. You can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
God bless and keep you, God make his face to shine upon you and give you peace.
In His love,